My Unconventional Childhood Dream
For as long as I can remember, I have known that my life mission is to help people get out of really nasty situations.
Not very many fourth graders say, “When I grow up, I want to be a family court judge.”
But that was me.
While my friends talked about being nurses and artists, I talked about being a family lawyer, a custody mediator, or a guardian ad litem.
Growing Up in a Custody Battle
I come from a family of divorce.
At the time, my family’s case was the longest in Kansas history.
It was over five years between when my precious mom served my dad divorce papers to when it was finalized.
Over.
Five.
Years.
Narcissism, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse ran rampant.
Completely untamed.
Completely misunderstood.
And completely tangled in policies to prevent anything from being done about it.
As a child, I thought social workers were lazy.
But after going to school for social work, I was shown the reality of our broken system.
They were trying to survive the system, too.
Social workers are burnt out and trapped by policies and procedures.
That is a nasty combo.
I decided to pursue a bachelor’s degree in social work (BSW) with the end goal of starting a private practice therapy business.
After I graduated with my BSW, I started a master’s internship at a community mental health center.
I knew I was not interested in community mental health long term, but I did not know I was not interested in it short term either.
In case you are unfamiliar with the steps to becoming an LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker or therapist), it involves a master’s program with an internship, and two additional years to become licensed.
That means I was embarking on a 3+ year journey in community mental health.
Two weeks into my master’s internship, 28 clients were dumped onto my case load.
I was expected to do 14 back-to-back therapy sessions every week.
I was only in the office on Mondays and Tuesdays, which meant being booked solid 4-5 weeks in advance.
I was paid $7.25 an hour… with a bachelor’s degree.
My struggling clients were charged $100 per session… to see a “therapist” who did not have formal training or education in therapy.
After six weeks, I was burnt out.
I was stuck in the “dos” and “don’ts” of a social work office.
I couldn’t tell my clients what I thought they truly needed to heal.
I suppressed my negative feelings about the experience until I couldn’t any longer.
Once I opened up about how hard the internship really was, I felt like I could breathe again.
What I learned… I was not built help people in the social work field
It became crystal clear to me that I am unable to help people in a traditional job in the social work field.
I do not want to be bound by policies.
I do not want to be shackled to an inhumane caseload.
I want to share how I overcame my circumstances to give others hope.
Why I write: Advocacy and Healing
While I was packing up my office, I began thinking of what is next…
And that brings me here.
Here, I can share real stuff to real people because I am a real person who has come through the other side as an overcomer.
I am passionate about advocating against the current system
I am a real human who has gone through real stuff
Here to walk with you on your journey of real, raw, complicated stuff.
Come along for the ride
